I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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