ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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