whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I need to calm my uterus...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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