It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
