the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
