Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize