Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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