stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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