Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
