I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
