Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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