i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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