im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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