It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
