If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
