what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Hippo gnu deer
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
