So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
