Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
