I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
