You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
