They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
