Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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