I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
