I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
