He asked me if I "almost moaned"
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He? As in you personified your dick?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
