Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
