somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
