Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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