Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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