Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
