We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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