I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize