no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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