we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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