dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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