One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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