I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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