Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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