I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
