Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
