I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
