if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
