she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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