He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I think your dad took our porno
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
