Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I love you. Go after that dick
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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