I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
