Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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