talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
