you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
