I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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