Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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