Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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