It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
