porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
