you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
