It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
There r osticjed everywhere
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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