Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I am naked and annoyed.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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