Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
