i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize