Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
im having a threesome with these popsicles
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
