We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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