What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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