your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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