Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
